


Sometimes the shadow of my shadow is, all I can be

by Mallior



Series: Triptych of Shadows [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Dark Tony Stark, Gen, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Murder, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Not Steve Friendly, Pre-Slash, hopefully... hence the relationship tag, mentions of torture and brainwashing, not that dark!, strong canon divergence, you know the usual Winter Soldier warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 19:41:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15979094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mallior/pseuds/Mallior
Summary: “Look what the cat dragged in. You are a popular one these days, everyone looking for you Sarge.” He watched as the infamous Winter Soldier, aka. James Buchanan Barnes froze for a second, before he lifted his rifle even higher, head turned to the darkened door. He wore the black leather gear and some ridiculous black raccoon eyes make-up as a tactical paint.





	Sometimes the shadow of my shadow is, all I can be

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended music: [Marilyn Manson - Resident Evil Main Theme (Extended)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZ4JoovKWCU)
> 
> [THIS](http://mallior.tumblr.com/post/178008929776) is the Tony we are talking about.
> 
> Well, this started as a silly idea, but it quickly got out of hand as soon as I opened a doc to write it down. There's a chance I will continue it one day, got the ideas for it. As soon as I survived the next one and/or two months. 8D

If he was honest, things were fine - in his own standards, if you didn’t mention the whole Afghanistan/Stane fiasco - until SHIELD and Fury. He had a nice system in place, he got smart people who could help with it beside JARVIS… Then it got harder and harder to keep parts of his life separate, especially when the one eyed asshole let the Avengers loose on Tony. Which two of them were spies. While he could convince practically everyone there was nothing _strange_ about him, besides the horrible migraine attacks and the occasional nosebleeds, it was supremely difficult to keep the act on around Barton and Romanov. The fact SHIELD didn’t know about _it_ , was a miracle and of course Tony’s planning.

 

The Captain - while his presence opened an another, old can of worms - and Banner were fine for a while, he could spend time with the other scientist talking and messing around in the labs, until it became clear, the man didn’t trust Tony for some reason or other. He never explained, but after almost six months in the Tower, he packed his meager belongings and went on an impromptu Doctors Without Borders-style trip, despite not being _that kind of doctor._ He mumbled something about crowded cities and other excuses, but Tony recognized the way he looked at him, he saw it many times. And only a few people lived after it.

 

Rogers thankfully disappeared for a while, trekking through the country but there was no joy when he returned. He had problems, which required a good therapist, and that was telling if even Tony could see. The Captain was almost fine with everyone else, but not him. It escaped Tony why he was held to other standards than the other team members, but mostly he just shrugged and walked away. Rogers tried to stop him exactly one time, but the broken nose and the repulsor glowing in his face convinced him not to touch Tony ever again.

 

Thor was more absent, running around with that scientist woman and staying in his own world.

 

It was Pepper’s idea to build the Compound, when the Tower took the second hit in one month, lunatics popping up to challenge the Avengers and/or try to conquer the world, starting in New York. Tony hugged her in relief and joy. Pepper almost smacked him in the head for it.

 

Barely three months after that, the rest of the Avengers moved into a freshly build complex in Fort Tilden, far away from him and his Tower. He sold the idea with protecting the downtown and all the employees of Stark Industries who sometimes got caught in the crossfire. Of course they bitched about it, but the ruthless logic and Pepper’s glare convinced them to shut up before they got stabbed in the neck with a black and red Louboutin.

 

It was fine for a while. Tony sometimes trained with the team, dispatched a bunch of idiots named AIM and tinkered in his workshop. Of course there were times when the _itches_ acted up. Rhodey helped with them this time and they solved the Vanko/Killian problem in almost a week, the world and especially SHIELD none of the wiser.

 

* * *

 

Then everything gone sideways in a spectacular fashion.

 

Rogers moved to DC - which happened out of the blue -, the spies gone on an extended undercover mission and Tony dug out an old plan, to build an army. Okay, a legion because JARVIS didn’t like them comparing it to the disaster that was the US Army. They worked in peace, until on a Friday afternoon, JARVIS threw on the news, featuring Rogers and Romanov. There was an explosions, a lot of collateral damage and a few shaky video of a man dressed in all black. Tony blinked at the still displayed hologram then with a shrug, he gone back to his blueprint. If they need help, they can use a phone or something…

 

The next time he got interrupted, was during a video call with Rhodey about _the thing._ Tony’s mood was even darker than usually, but it gone worse in a few minutes later as they watched Romanov’s file dump. On the bright side, it solved Tony’s problem quickly and for a long time. JARVIS sorted through as much data as he could and updated his list. Then he found the first file.

 

The date on it, made his head ache with tension and bad memories. Rhodey disconnected earlier and was enroute from Kabul, Pepper was in Tokyo…

 

“I believe, it would be wiser to wait for Colonel Rhodes before you open it, Sir.” JARVIS’ voice was carefully neutral.

 

“What’s in there?” Tony asked, hands gripping the edge of the workbench.

 

“It contains an audio file, a document and a video file.”

 

“Open it.”

 

“Sir-”

 

“Open.It.”

 

The hologram popped up on Tony’s left side, listing the things JARVIS said. With a shaky hand, Tony hit the video…

 

* * *

 

Rhodey found him in the destroyed workshop, hands bleeding, huddled on the old couch. JARVIS probably called him, because he bundled Tony into the last, surviving blanked and dragged him up to the penthouse.

 

Pepper arrived the next day, eyes red, suit rumpled a little. She had a hushed conversation with Rhodey in the kitchen, then sat down next to Tony on the sofa.

 

“We added Fury to the list, but before you get there, I want you to call me, okay? I want to help, this time.” Her hands grabbed his cold ones and squeezed gently. When it became clear Tony won’t say anything, she curled next to him and with a small, sad sigh she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

 

It took a few days, until Tony was able open his mouth again, without the urge to scream. He tried to apologize for his behaviour but neither Pepper nor Rhodey wanted it, they said it was understandable. Tony wasn’t sure they were thinking about the same reasons, but whatever.

 

The next week, he dug into the files, starting with one on his parents’ murder, continuing on the Winter Soldier’s files. Tony prided himself not being squeamish, but reading about prolonged torture, watching videos about HYDRA’s brainwashing and conditioning of the Soldier made even him throw up three times. He only escaped the fourth one because JARVIS closed the video in the right moment. He needed to find the man, if nothing else, he should be safe and off the street, while the whole SHIELD/HYDRA shitstorm calmed down.

 

Rhodey almost got aneurysm when he brought up the idea in their next call, but after Tony’s reasoning he understood it. James Buchanan Barnes was the world longest held POW beside being tortured and experimented on for almost 70 years. Also, he was as responsible for Howard and Maria’s death as the bomb for the shrapnels in Tony’s chest.

 

Pepper simply heaved a sigh and started taking notes, giving SI lawyers a few months worth of work.

 

JARVIS kept an eye on Rogers, but the man was still occupied in DC, keeping Romanov and his new pal busy. Still no call or message. Tony ordered the end of surveillance and asked JARVIS to focus on finding Barnes.

 

* * *

 

Tony just wiped the blade clean, when JARVIS whispered into his ear, _we have a guest Sir._ With a practiced movement, he slid the knife back into its sheath and pulled the bowie knife. It was a newly made one, he didn’t use it tonight so far, but oh well. Time to test his newest toy.

 

He carefully stepped over the body and the blood, peeking around the door jamb, but it was dark.

 

“Where is it?” He whispered to JARVIS.

 

“Just reached the corridor where you are, Sir. Want me to switch on the lights?”

 

Tony didn’t answer verbally, just nodded as he closed his eyes. He was aware the second the lights came on, a distant curse reaching his ears. As he opened his eyes the guest made him blink.

 

“Look what the cat dragged in. You are a popular one these days, everyone looking for you Sarge.” He watched as the infamous Winter Soldier, aka. James Buchanan Barnes froze for a second, before he lifted his rifle even higher, head turned to the darkened door. He wore the black leather gear and some ridiculous black raccoon eyes make-up as a tactical paint.

 

Tony slowly stepped into the corridor, knife held lazily in his right, but not making a threat. Barnes’ body tensed for a second, but with no other visible weapon, he didn’t attack.

 

“Anthony Edward Stark, Iron Man, owner of Stark Industries. Threat level: nine. Do not approach without heavy artillery.” It looked involuntary, the small burst of briefing. The heavy artillery part was really flattering.

 

“Someone done their homework. And what brings you to this cozy little HYDRA pit, Sarge? The cleanup is done, unless you were in search for an officer to return to.” While usually Tony done _these nights_ without the armor, JARVIS always brought the stealth one and kept it out of sight.

 

“I will shoot myself in the head, before I return to HYDRA.” The man’s voice was low and raspy like he didn’t speak for a while or screamed himself hoarse.

 

“Good to know. Oh, I almost forgot. Leave your soulmate a message somewhere, to stop this whole raiding-the-world-for-Bucky crusade, before he pisses off another country beside Germany. Well, good talk. Be careful of the blood on the floor and there are some bodies too.” With that, Tony sheated the knife and turned back to the room. Thank Tesla for second exits.

 

He was almost out of the building when something occurred to him.

 

He walked back to the corridor, to catch Barnes nudging a corpse with the toe of his combat boots.

 

“Hey Tastee Freez.” Tony watched with fascination as the world most successful assassin of this century jumped like a cat. Rifle swinging in Tony’s direction, grey-blue eyes zeroing on him. “Oh, sorry. I have an idea. If you are finished running around and hiding from the Star Spangled Man you can come to the Stark Tower. I got the feeling you are on pest control too, but unlike me, not enough resources to do it properly. I mean, even _I_ can see the bullet holes in your leather. So biker, much BDSM. But yeah, come to the Tower, we can have a sleepover and gossip about those nasty HYDRA boys.” Tony grinned at Barnes, the man’s slightly dazed expression was a bit funny.

 

* * *

  


It was a weird feeling, to know someone seen Tony with blood on his clothes, knife in his hand and lived to tell the tale. It was even weirder to watch the security footage of Barnes sweeping through the HYDRA building, sometimes stopping to examine a corpse, metal fingers fleetingly touching the fatal knife wounds, the ghost of a smile on his face.

 

Tony laid back in his chair, hands folded on his stomach and just let the video play. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship…

**Author's Note:**

> [Pepper's shoes.](http://us.christianlouboutin.com/us_en/shop/women/decollete-554-411618.html)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Tony's knife (the first one).](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B018RQN1S6/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_U_x_JtKMBbVK8BPEP)
> 
>  
> 
> [Tony's bowie knife.](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001IPKL7I/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_U_x_9sJMBbZ2N6924)


End file.
